Forgiveness is like. . .

Why is it so hard for us to forgive one another?  
Why is it so hard for us to forgive ourselves?  
These are questions that I have pondered for years. . . 


I've had several Holy Spirit moments in my ministry where the power of God's love has washed over me and taken away all bitterness, anger, spite . . . when I knew I wasn't willing to let go of it.  It was as if God said to me as He took it ALL away, "I need you to let go of this because I have something for you to do. . . and if you are still hanging on to this poison you will not be able to do my work."  It would only be a matter of days or weeks when I would see exactly why God had taken the grudge out of me and replaced it with immeasurable peace.  Amazing.  Wonderful.  However, it cannot be willed!  It comes from God, not from inside of us somewhere.  


On the other side of this coin is the pain we carry around from past experiences. . .  intellectually I think we know that God forgives us (we hear it at least three times in worship each Sunday➔ confession and forgiveness, proclamation of the Word, and in the Eucharist).  But still, sometimes we can't let go of it. . . are we better than God?  What makes us hold on to it when God has already forgotten about it?  We've repented. . . we've asked, no begged, for forgiveness and yet still. . . we. . . hang. . . on.  


To hear that I am forgiven is the most amazing gift.  It means that I am loved.  It means that I matter.  It means that my sin doesn't define me in the eyes of God.  I am not the sum total of my sinfulness and neither are you!  "While we were still sinners Christ died for us," St. Paul reminds us in Romans 5.  Not while we were perfect, or lovable, or righteous. . . not while we had it all together, but while we were broken and fragile and straying.  

Why don't we practice telling each other that we are forgiven?  Why don't we free one another from the burden of sin, doubt, guilt and pain when we get the chance?  I happen to know that it makes a tremendous difference in this life and on this faith journey.  It revives the spirit and frees us to live into God's will for us.  I think we should make it a point of proclaiming forgiveness to those we meet-- imagine how it will free them to live life more fully!  


Thank you God for your mercy and lovingkindness and thank you, friend, for telling me I'm forgiven! 
Amen.