Our oldest child is heading to High School (I can't hardly believe it, he was just born!!) and our youngest is going to fifth grade (I loved fifth grade it was my favorite year in Elementary School).
I always get a little bit "homesick" feeling when school starts up again. . . I think it's because I always loved school and I don't get to go! (Though I do have a 160 page paper to edit for my Dmin project that I should be working on!!) I remember the days of packing up mom and dad's car with all my stuff and heading back to Athens for the fall. Moving into a new room, first the Convo, then Wilson Hall, then two years at the College Inn. New folders and pens, a new backpack to carry my stuff in, new track shoes for fall practice. I miss those days! I miss those people! I miss the freedom. . . what I don't miss is having an 18 year old's brain! I like the brain I have now!
So, I send my kids off today with their new bags and folders, pencils and erasers. . . I wonder what adventures they will be taken on this year. High school swimming for him, honors classes, more homework than ever before, and the chance to watch him shine. For her, well- she's into everything so it should be interesting! The world is right there for them to grab. . . will they be brave enough to go for it?
Will they be intimidated by new surroundings? Will they forget their locker combinations? How long will it take for them to get comfortable? Will it be overwhelming or exciting or both?
I have to confess something about this first day of school. At the same time that I long for the house to be a little bit quiet so I can write and read (and think!) I will miss them and wonder what they are doing. Whenever something changes, even if it's a good thing, a positive thing, a step in the right direction. . . part of me still misses what once was. The old Adam hanging around my neck I suppose. Melancholy is the best way to describe the feeling. Bittersweet even. Then I think. . . God knows what is coming next, I don't know. . . it just might be the most wonderful thing ever and who could imagine it? I trust that God is always looking out for us, moving us toward something deeper, more meaningful, more to where He wants us to be. . .
So while I lament what is past, what will be gone forever, I am hopeful for what is to come. And I try, oh how I try, not to dwell in the details of the transition, not to look too far ahead, or too far behind. God is working on me to live more in the moment, to embrace the gifts that come TODAY. That takes an ability to "feel" my way through life and if you know me then you know that I prefer to reduce everything to words and logic and reason. Hazard of years of scientific study I guess. So a new beginning is upon us. . . nothing to fear, only life to embrace for Christ is with us every step of the way. What will happen next? I can only be present enough to see and feel and experience whatever God has in mind for me and for the two most precious people in my life: Noah Jacob and Anna Sophia. Love you guys!
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