Walter Toman wrote about sibling position in "Family Constellations." I, too, am a youngest. We youngest children have our own particular ways of being in the world that have emerged from our experiences of being the baby in the family. Youngest children are often funny, they like to entertain the family, they seek attention and get a lot of it usually, because of their birth position. Their oldest siblings are generally highly responsible so they don't have to be! They are used to being the center of attention because they have been the "baby" of the family and that comes with its own blessings and curses.
King David was the youngest of his brothers. He started out as a shepherd boy, was chosen by God to take King Saul's place on the throne of Israel. He was very irresponsible at times (think Bathsheba and the whole mess he created there!!) But God used him for his purposes and brought him to greatness!
Joseph was the youngest (until Benjamin came along- but he spent enough time in that position to embrace it fully.) He pranced around his brothers with his beautiful coat and he knew that he was Jacob's favorite. That incites jealousy and anger in the hearts of his brothers who sold him into slavery and told their father that he was dead. Now there are some interesting family dynamics, eh?
Even though Jacob and Esau were twins, in any twin relationship there is still an older and a younger one. Just ask them. . . "Who was born first?" You'll get an answer down to the minutes, "I was by 11 minutes." Those few minutes define the relationship interestingly enough. So Jacob acted much like a youngest. He and his mother, Rebekah, tricked daddy, Isaac, into giving him the birthrite that belonged to Esau. He could be impetuous, selfish, and devious but he was also creative, loving, and faithful to God.
 |
| Youngest sister of brother Oldest brother of sister |
Toman broke this youngest position down even further:
Youngest sister of brother(s)-- that's me. (It's also my daughter-- now there's a family dynamic between her and me!!)
Youngest brother of brother(s). Think there's going to be any competition there??
Youngest brother of sister(s). This boy likely has multiple "mothers" in his life as his older sister(s) seek to care for him like a surrogate mother would.
It's fun to think about these things and nothing is set in stone so don't take it too personally! But where does this resonate with you in your life and family of origin? If you comment, please include your sibling position and your thoughts about what I've shared here. Also, who in the bible shares your sibling position? If you aren't sure, perhaps I can help you out. For instance Dinah was a youngest sister of brothers. Her older brothers were the "twelve tribes of Israel" which included Reuben, Issachar, Dan, Naphtali, Joseph, Benjamin, Judah etc. They were so protective of her that when she was raped by a foreigner her brothers tricked the young man's family into being circumcised and then massacred them in revenge. Interesting huh??
Thinking about our sibling position can help us look at ourselves in a new way to see a clue as to why we do certain things the way we do and why each child in our family of origin is different from the rest evenwhile having grown up in the same household. I look forward to your comments but one last thought: Jesus was an only child. . . at least for a long time (we hear about brothers in the later chapters of the gospels and Acts.) What characteristics of an only child do you see in Jesus?
Have a blessed day!
No comments:
Post a Comment