Catharsis

Matthew 5:44-45

The Message (MSG)

 ^43-47"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

With a very heavy heart I decided to take my dog for a run this morning.  It always seems to help clear my mind.  It helps with the catharsis process. . . 

Catharsis is a Greek word that means "to purge" or "to cleanse."  Sometimes tears just simply aren't enough to get the pain out.  Sometimes they are sufficient.  If you think you have no pain then I have news for you. . . there is enough sin in this world (our own and others) that if you would only stop for a moment to reflect, you would realize that there is some very real pain in/under/around/within you and the emotional/spiritual/physical space that you inhabit.  We all need something cathartic at times.  Today was a day for me. . . so I tied up my Nikes, clipped the leash on the pup, grabbed my iPod and off I went into the rain.

Now there is something very soothing about running in the rain, especially warm Spring rain.  The water was running down my face, dripping from my eyelashes, dropping from the curls on my head and cleansing me of some very great disappointment and struggle.  As I ventured the end of the trail, Lauren Hill's voice proclaiming to me "Everything is Everything," my steps got faster and faster.  Soon I found myself leaping over puddles that had formed in the dirt as if I was back on that green track in Athens, left lead leg, right lead leg, hurdle after hurdle like the 400 meter race I used to run. The Irish violins of the Celtic Woman spurred me on as I silently prayed for God's presence in the rain.  My own breathing echoing in my ears keeping time with whatever song came next. . . pushing me to sweat it out, to leave it there, to rely on God's never failing grace and guidance.  

When I made it home there was not one spot on me or the dog that was not soaked.  God was there.  In the running, in the rain, in the drops of water cascading over me like my baptism long ago of which I do not remember.  Only He knows how many more times I will have to run like that. . . how many times catharsis will be the order of the day. . . how many more times a human, child of God, will have to endure suffering and pain because of sin.  

But the rain continues to fall- on the good and the bad and all those in between.  But the promise is His never failing love, even as we seek to be obedient to His will to love others, even those whom we think we can never love.  We cannot do it alone.  It is utterly impossible.  The good news is that Jesus has done it for us- we who did not deserve such love, grace and life have been granted the greatest gift of all!  

If you are reading this- don't worry about me or about anything else.  I'm in good hands. . . and so are you!

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Sometimes There Simply Are No Words

I looked at the last date of my last post on STS and it has been way over a month.  Life has been hectic, filled with so many things to do. . .
Sometimes the busy-ness  sparks my imagination.  Sometimes I find, there simply are no words.  They just don't come.  There are strings of thoughts but nothing worth saying.  There are clouds of emotion but nothing worth reporting.  There is silence. . . oh the silence-- sometimes painful, sometimes welcome, sometimes it just "is."

In a word filled with sound-bytes and images and messages bombarding us from every direction, sometimes we get so used to the sounds that we fail to realize how destructive the noise really is for us.  Distracted.  Distressed.  Disconnected from the One who calls to us in our waking hours, in our prayers, in our sleep.  But we cannot or WILL NOT hear.  There's too much noise all around us; too much noise inside of us.  Sometimes I just want to scream, "STOP!"  Stop the talking! Stop the phone ringing.  Stop the black letters coming across the screen. . . JUST STOP! Just let me be. . . I just want to be.

And yet the paradox of that is that I have a very difficult time "just being."  To just be, one has to be able to tolerate a certain amount of pain, I think.

Perhaps my inability to just be has to do with my threshold of pain, or lack thereof.  I really have a high physical pain tolerance- I gave birth to two beautiful kids where the epidurals went awry and I felt all the pain on half of my body.  I ran for years with chronic shin splints and a stress fracture in my foot.  Until very recently, I haven't missed a day of work in years and years and years.  (I only missed two because of a minor surgery!)  But when it comes to the clearing of my mind. . . it rarely happens. . . there are always words and images floating past. . . and it's hard to not focus on them, difficult to let them go on by.  Then I get distracted and there are no words of any meaning that come out so it's just better to stay silent.

I think that kind of "pain," if you can call it pain, is part of our human condition if we allow ourselves to really feel it.  It's part of "being" human.  I'd rather be injured, some days, than have to "feel" what there simply are no words for.  On the other hand, at least I know I'm alive because I can still feel what I feel! Some days there is peace surrounding me, some days it is raw and open and exposed.  That's life, right?

What to do with it all?  I wish I had a prescription to share-- something that would take it all away but all I can do in those moments is utter to my Lord, "Kyrie Eleison, Christe Eleison, Kyrie Eleison."  The only words I can come up with which invite my Lord Jesus to enter into the darkness inside of me and take it onto himself for a few minutes so I can experience a flash of relief.

The good news is that, in the words of the old African American Spiritual, "He hasn't failed me yet." And I know that if I remember to come to him, he will do it for me over and over again until I no longer feel what there simply are no words for. . . pretty good deal don't you think?

Amen.

Following Jesus: Humility and Grace

In our small group we are studying Leonard Sweet's book "I am a Follower" which encourages Christians to rethink their lives as ones of following Christ rather than being leaders for Christ.  Christ, the Good Shepherd, is THE leader. . . the rest of us are followers and to even think about "leading" someone to Jesus, first means becoming a devoted, committed, unabashedly courageous follower.  It's simple really . . . it's just that we've been sold a bill of goods that entices us all to be "good leaders," "brave leaders," "creative leaders," etc. When all we really have to do is follow. . . except being a follower has gotten a bad wrap!  It's weak, second-rate, less than the best, lacks creativity we would say.  Not so!  On the contrary it takes strength, courage, imagination, fervor, passion and commitment.

In our study yesterday, one in our group recounted a contrast between leadership that is walled off and unaccessible and followership that is filled with love and humility and grace.  Here is what Susan S. offered the group:

Last Spring,on a trip to Washington D.C. our group was very excited to be able to tour the Capitol Building, the Library of Congress, and to have a meeting at the office of our Congressional Representative.  However, we were not able to access the White House.  With the first group of buildings and people, we went through a metal detector, left our bags in a locker and were granted access.  Pretty simple process for visiting those places, all of which are very important and house very important people's offices.  But, the White House on the other hand, required that at least two weeks before the visit, you apply online by filling out a form giving the Secret Service your name, address, social security number, birthdate, etc.  Only then might you receive a pass to enter the White House to take a tour.  Mind you, we had no false hopes that we would even come close to the President, we simply wanted to take a tour of some of the rooms.  

In contrast to this, several years ago my daughter was visiting Spain.  On a layover at an airport, Mother Theresa happened to walk by.  Graciously and without any reservation she stopped to chat with the girls for a couple of minutes. When she was ready to move on she blessed them, offering them a moment of mercy and love that came from her identity as a follower of Christ.  Then she continued on her journey.  She had no body guards to keep the public from her, as well known and as tiny as she was. . . she simply made her way through life, crowds, airports with the greatest humility and grace in the name of Jesus- blessing people as she went.  

Of course we know that it is the Secret Service's job to protect the President of the United States and that he probably has more threats against him than anyone in the world, but it seems a stark contrast between the two "leaders."  One allows herself to be accessible to whomever she meets, blessing them, praying with them as she encounters them.  Changing lives one at a time simply by following Jesus.  How might we use our lives as followers of Jesus to bless those we come in contact with each day?  Humility and grace might be the key to our followership of Jesus, one who modeled humility and grace in all aspects of his life on earth.  Perhaps it means not taking ourselves too seriously.  Perhaps it also means that we are never as important as we might think we are in the grand scheme of things. . . that our only mission in this life is to follow and serve and bless.


Image Credit: biography.com

Walking Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. . .

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

 ¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
 ² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
 ³ he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
   for his name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk
   through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
   for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
   they comfort me.

 ⁵ You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
   forever.

Last night in worship we sang the hymn I Want Jesus to Walk with Me. . . 

I want Jesus to walk with me, all along my pilgrim's journey, O Lord I want Jesus, to walk with me!  In my trials, Lord walk with me. . . . when my heart is almost breaking, Lord I want Jesus to walk with me.  When I'm in trouble, Lord walk with me. . . when my head is bowed in sorrow, O Lord I want Jesus to walk with me.

We sing it. . . loudly even. . . like we really mean it, especially when all is well and good and right with the world.  But do we remember our song when life comes crashing in on us, seeking to steal our peace and leaving us in a heap of tears and weeping?  Do we sing it when out of left field something terrible happens and we are reduced to doubt and despair?

Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death for you are with me!  

When you walk through the fire you will not get burned! 

(Oh yeah?  That looks like a burn mark there, Father.)  

Perhaps, but remember what I have done for you, how I created the world with a word and how THE WORD experienced the same pain, suffering, degradation, annihilation, and death that you are walking through right now--- and on the third day he rose again! And on the third day he rose again!  Death, where is thy victory? Oh death, where is thy sting?  The wages of sin is death but thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.  

This suffering is but for a moment, God's love for us is forever!  Through every horrific experience, through emotions we don't know how to handle, through answers that never seem to come, for love that seems to do no good, through questions that never manage to leave our lips. . . God's love is forever!  God's love was nailed to the tree and destroyed, but that was not the end of the story!  God's love was so powerful, so perfect, so fully present that it could not be squelched- NOT EVER!  

You, my friends, are loved like that!  Completely and forever! Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior, loves you that much! Close your eyes and feel it. Don't doubt it!  Sink into it. . . trust it. . . it is FOR YOU, for always!

Gifts from out of nowhere. . .

See these three crosses? (image removed)
Beautiful aren't they?

They appeared out of nowhere.  As is often the case with my congregation, gifts appear out of seemingly nowhere and for no particular reason!  It's always a joy to me because of course I love gifts, even gifts that are generously shared between two other people. I love to see generosity in action because it is a sign of love.   These gifts, when they are presented to me, remind me that someone is thinking about me and that they care about me, maybe even love me.  It has happened so many times that my shelves (and there are quite a few in my office) are filled with trinkets and plagues and little statues and signs and crosses and pictures and sayings and bowls and books and all sorts of other things that have been gifts to me in the past ten years.  All signs of God's love through the people I am privileged to serve.


Monday we received a magnificent gift from one of our families: a new carillon bell that was installed in the bell tower!  Now the whole town is gifted with the sound of hymns that will lilt toward their ears and hopefully lift their spirits and give them joy.  Another reminder to the village the Christ is truly present- wherever sound can travel, it will be a reminder of God's love for us in Jesus Christ!  This gift was a long time dream of one woman in our parish and the timing just never seemed right. . . but out of the blue (or so it seemed) it all happened in a matter of days.  Coincidentally (I don't think so) ready for Easter the baptism of her great granddaughter!  Kairos moment there! Gift given in water and word and also in sound!

Gifts from God do seem to come out of nowhere lots of times, don't they?  A moment of grace.  A smile on a dark day.  A word of hope just when you needed it most.  A phone call just to say, "I only wanted to hear your voice." These are small, but very effective reminders of God's love for us and of the love we share with one another in Christ.  We are also gift bearers in the name of Christ!  Our very presence can be a gift to someone and we may not have any idea that the Lord of our lives is using us to bring peace, contentment, even joy to the moment at hand.

As you continue your Holy Week journey toward the Last Supper, the Mandatum (foot-washing), Arrest, and Crucifixion. . . be aware of the gifts being given to you in each moment.  It was be a gift of mercy in your pain, a gift of hope in your darkness, a gift of laughter in your crabbiness, a gift of food in your hunger, a gift of water in your thirst, a gift of love in your loneliness.  And be aware of how Christ is using you to meet the needs of another as well.  In the giving is the greatest gift of all!

Have a blessed Holy Wednesday. . . hang in there. . . you know the WHOLE story so cling to it even as you dwell in each moment along the way!