Growing Pains Really Hurt

Philippians 1:22

The Message (MSG)

 ^22-26As long as I'm alive in this body, there is good work for me to do. If I had to choose right now, I hardly know which I'd choose. Hard choice! The desire to break camp here and be with Christ is powerful. Some days I can think of nothing better. But most days, because of what you are going through, I am sure that it's better for me to stick it out here. So I plan to be around awhile, companion to you as your growth and joy in this life of trusting God continues. You can start looking forward to a great reunion when I come visit you again. We'll be praising Christ, enjoying each other.


Why does it hurt so darn much to grow? We see it in our kids as they maneuver through each phase of life from toddlers to kindergartners to elementary school student where drama begins to unfold with friendships. . . to adolescence and young adulthood. And it all happens so darn fast doesn't it? At least when you are the parent it does, I can't say it felt like it went fast when I was a kid however. There was always something else to learn to navigate, to learn to deal with, to figure out how to handle or not handle as the case may be. The thing is, we never stop growing. We never stop learning: how to navigate friendships, relationships, life, work, and yes- faith.

I remember when he was the size of his baby cousin he's holding!

Isaac Newton changed our thinking about objects in motion when he said, "An object moves in the same trajectory unless acted upon by an unbalanced force." And likewise, "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." I remember when I first learned this concept, I was 17 years old and in High School Physics with an amazing teacher, Mr. Mizer. He taught us this concept by hitting us all where we longed to be, behind the steering wheel of a car (since most of us back then didn't have cars and barely had driver's licenses that we could actually put to good use). He had us imagine a small rubber ball on the dashboard that sat there minding its own rubber ball business until suddenly the car made a very sharp turn sending that ball out of its forward motion (you see it was moving forward with the car even though it sat there on that dashboard minding its own rubber ball business) and bouncing all around the car that decided to change trajectory.

Each and every one of us is like that rubber ball.  We are moving along in life, happily minding our own rubber ball business until WHAM! an unbalanced force acts upon us and moves us out of our trajectory. It could be sickness, death of a loved one, or simply dealing with "growing up" (and no matter how old we are we still have some growing up to do). So the other concept comes into play. . . how we react to a reaction. How do we deal with others' stuff? Not so good sometimes. . . I admit that sometimes I take things WAAAAYYY too personally. But how to separate what is "mine" and what is "someone else's?" The closer we are to a person the harder it becomes. We feel every reaction and we react to it. . . sometimes not so well at that. In Bowen Theory this is called Differentiation of Self: Knowing where I begin and you end and vice versa. Staying in touch and not running away when things get tough. And sometimes it hurts like all-get-out. . . but you know what? That's when we learn: who we are, how to handle things better next time, how love deeper, how to accept someone more, how to forgive, how to stay calm, how to rely on God when we cannot do all the other things we'd like to be able to do that resemble being grown up.

Life is going to take some serious twists and turns throwing us rubber balls bouncing around, but we are not alone in this! St. Paul reminds his congregation that he is with them, accompanying them on the journey as they grow to trust God more fully and completely. As pastors we companion those we serve. . . we also companion one another on the journey because believe it or not, pastors are human too, filled with doubt, fear, darkness, and pain just like every other person on earth.

Growing pains can really hurt. . . but they are necessary! Nothing easy is worth having. . . nothing that isn't hard fought is ever really appreciated. . . well that is except God's gift of mercy and grace! So keep going and keep growing and rely fully and completely on Christ who loves you and said he would never leave you! Amen.

Catharsis

Matthew 5:44-45

The Message (MSG)

 ^43-47"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

With a very heavy heart I decided to take my dog for a run this morning.  It always seems to help clear my mind.  It helps with the catharsis process. . . 

Catharsis is a Greek word that means "to purge" or "to cleanse."  Sometimes tears just simply aren't enough to get the pain out.  Sometimes they are sufficient.  If you think you have no pain then I have news for you. . . there is enough sin in this world (our own and others) that if you would only stop for a moment to reflect, you would realize that there is some very real pain in/under/around/within you and the emotional/spiritual/physical space that you inhabit.  We all need something cathartic at times.  Today was a day for me. . . so I tied up my Nikes, clipped the leash on the pup, grabbed my iPod and off I went into the rain.

Now there is something very soothing about running in the rain, especially warm Spring rain.  The water was running down my face, dripping from my eyelashes, dropping from the curls on my head and cleansing me of some very great disappointment and struggle.  As I ventured the end of the trail, Lauren Hill's voice proclaiming to me "Everything is Everything," my steps got faster and faster.  Soon I found myself leaping over puddles that had formed in the dirt as if I was back on that green track in Athens, left lead leg, right lead leg, hurdle after hurdle like the 400 meter race I used to run. The Irish violins of the Celtic Woman spurred me on as I silently prayed for God's presence in the rain.  My own breathing echoing in my ears keeping time with whatever song came next. . . pushing me to sweat it out, to leave it there, to rely on God's never failing grace and guidance.  

When I made it home there was not one spot on me or the dog that was not soaked.  God was there.  In the running, in the rain, in the drops of water cascading over me like my baptism long ago of which I do not remember.  Only He knows how many more times I will have to run like that. . . how many times catharsis will be the order of the day. . . how many more times a human, child of God, will have to endure suffering and pain because of sin.  

But the rain continues to fall- on the good and the bad and all those in between.  But the promise is His never failing love, even as we seek to be obedient to His will to love others, even those whom we think we can never love.  We cannot do it alone.  It is utterly impossible.  The good news is that Jesus has done it for us- we who did not deserve such love, grace and life have been granted the greatest gift of all!  

If you are reading this- don't worry about me or about anything else.  I'm in good hands. . . and so are you!

acl

Walking Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. . .

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.

 ¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
 ² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
 ³ he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
   for his name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk
   through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
   for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
   they comfort me.

 ⁵ You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
   forever.

Last night in worship we sang the hymn I Want Jesus to Walk with Me. . . 

I want Jesus to walk with me, all along my pilgrim's journey, O Lord I want Jesus, to walk with me!  In my trials, Lord walk with me. . . . when my heart is almost breaking, Lord I want Jesus to walk with me.  When I'm in trouble, Lord walk with me. . . when my head is bowed in sorrow, O Lord I want Jesus to walk with me.

We sing it. . . loudly even. . . like we really mean it, especially when all is well and good and right with the world.  But do we remember our song when life comes crashing in on us, seeking to steal our peace and leaving us in a heap of tears and weeping?  Do we sing it when out of left field something terrible happens and we are reduced to doubt and despair?

Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death for you are with me!  

When you walk through the fire you will not get burned! 

(Oh yeah?  That looks like a burn mark there, Father.)  

Perhaps, but remember what I have done for you, how I created the world with a word and how THE WORD experienced the same pain, suffering, degradation, annihilation, and death that you are walking through right now--- and on the third day he rose again! And on the third day he rose again!  Death, where is thy victory? Oh death, where is thy sting?  The wages of sin is death but thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.  

This suffering is but for a moment, God's love for us is forever!  Through every horrific experience, through emotions we don't know how to handle, through answers that never seem to come, for love that seems to do no good, through questions that never manage to leave our lips. . . God's love is forever!  God's love was nailed to the tree and destroyed, but that was not the end of the story!  God's love was so powerful, so perfect, so fully present that it could not be squelched- NOT EVER!  

You, my friends, are loved like that!  Completely and forever! Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior, loves you that much! Close your eyes and feel it. Don't doubt it!  Sink into it. . . trust it. . . it is FOR YOU, for always!