Palms to Ashes

fronds from last year's

celebration, gathered, burned

hosanna to the King of kings!

throw a match in the pyre,

flash they are dust

smoke fills the air

billowing clouds of gray rising

to meet the King

soot, dust, ashes, remember

when breath no longer moves

within the body

remember you are dust

sign of the cross traced above

the windows to the soul

only He can see what's in there

wipes it clean with dust and ashes

paradox of faith 

dirt equated to life

life returned to dust and so 

the cycle continues in Him

cleansing, forgiveness, remember you

are dust

grace juxtaposed with soot, darkness

broken into by light

love crushes despair and fills 

the longing places, remember

child of God, I love you little

one, ashes, breath, newness

of life, remember

blessed is He who comes

in the name of the Lord, ashes

to palms, palms to ashes, death

to life to death again

hosanna, the King He lives

remember

Transfiguration

There she sat basking
in the glow of her friends'
adoration.


Wracked by chemicals
sent to destroy
the dread disease.


Her hair in tiny bristles
glimmered in the backlight.
Her smile a roman candle in the night.
Transfigured.


The God-light surrounded
her from all sides. Illuminated
the occupied space.


The God-light lit up her
weary eyes.
Body of Christ broken, like hers.
Take, eat, drink 
the cup of life.


Beauty. Grace. Love.
Transfigured in a moment of time.
Hers and ours, brother
and sisters,
take, eat, poured out for you.


Life. Light. The God-light
shining, not from the window
but straight from her heart.
Transfigured.

Success. . . It Ain't All it's Cracked up to Be!

I've Been Called An Overachiever Before. . . Imagine That!

My Webster's Dictionary on my Mac's Desktop defines overachiever as one who is "excessively dedicated to achieving success in one's work."  I'm not sure then that overachiever is the right word to pin on me.  I think a better moniker would be incessant fidget.  I simply cannot sit still!  I certainly have not achieved "success" in the standard measurement of success.  By the world's standards I have failed to live up to my potential.  Just ask any of my fellow pastors who serve larger congregations who have nailed me down by saying, "You're wasting your potential," or "You're wasting your gifts."  Especially now that I am no longer in the ELCA but in the North American Lutheran Church I have heard that battle cry that I have wasted my potential.  Ouch.

To be sure, I have given up on any measure of status in my former denomination.  Many cannot understand why I did what I did, why I led my flock the way I led them.  A couple of handfuls of colleagues no longer speak to me, want nothing to do with me.  Truth is, I'm still the same Amy I always was, haven't changed- I think they just weren't paying attention or didn't want to hear what I was saying all along.  So, I guess I've given up some great potential (whatever that means). . . but perhaps it was just a dream that others had for me, and not the path that God put me on.  I hope that's the case, otherwise I have wasted a whole lot of time in prayer, confession, grief, and worship.  It's strange because folks who wanted nothing to do with me before are now walking toward me, meanwhile long time friends are walking away.  It's kind of like that in the church and in life isn't it?  A revolving door of relationships. . . it just keeps rolling around on the tracks and people jump in and out of the spaces between the glass.

Success. . . isn't it supposed to look different in the church?  If pastor's wanted to be successful then they should go and work in the business world where they can make more money, have more prestige, travel to lovely places for conferences that are paid for by the companies they work for. . . instead we serve small communities with all their frailties, fall in love with the people there (don't be funny-you know what I mean!), sit by their bedsides, talk to them in the late hours of the night when things are going wrong, adopt their children as our own, spend our own money for breakfasts, lunches, dinners and craft projects.  Success, it ain't all it's cracked up to be!  (Sorry Grandma Mildred, I had to use that word ain't-- she used to said, "Ain't ain't a word and I ain't going to say it."  Ooops I said it again!)

The other thing about this is that I don't remember Jesus ever promising us "success."  I would think that folks in the church would understand that!  And for the record. . . I don't think I'm wasting anything!  Please stop saying that to me, it only means that YOU think I'm not living up to YOUR expectations.  Tell it to the people I serve everyday and see if they think anything is being wasted. . . tell it to the seven track teams and 300+ kids I've coached over the years and see if they think I'm wasting anything. . . tell it to the youth who know how much I adore them and see if they think I'm wasting anything.  . . tell it to Noah and Anna, the two I gave birth to and see if they think I'm wasting anything. . .

Overachiever--- NOT!
Busy, crazy, fidget who can't sit still, passionate, driven, fun loving, laughter producing, silly, overbooked. . . YES!  And loving it most days!  Thanks be to God!

Image Credit: thegogreenblog.com

Puree, wainscot, begonia- one mistake and you're out!

My daughter has been "into" this spelling bee thing for three years now.  She is only ten and has some success with it thus far.  I am her main study buddy which makes it all the more nerve wracking for me to see her on stage spelling words such as rendezvous, voortrekker, mukhtar and soliloquy.  The awful thing about spelling bees is that one false move and you're out!  No second chances.  Just a trip to the back row to wait for others to make a mistake and join you.

Here is Miss Anna at the Huron County Bee before she experienced a devastating loss.  Okay, she's only ten give her a break!  The good news is that previous to that competition she qualified for the Regional Bee which will be in Athens, Ohio in March.  So you win some, you bomb some!  That's life and we are learning to deal with it together.

But here's the thing I'm grateful for (among many other things in life). . . this discipleship journey is not just one wrong letter and you're out!  As if you have to be able to handle every single thing that comes your way without having any previous experience with it at all!  The word that knocked her out was a word she hadn't heard before. . . puree. . . she gave it a French ending because it is French and she learned one of the rules of French is to put an et at the end of some words.  Nice try.  Incorrect though.  It happens.  She gave it her best educated guess but it was not right anyway.  Life is like that, right? We do our best under each new circumstance that comes our way; we put into action what we know from previous experience and learning. . . and even then sometimes we fail.  The good news is that Christ is still with us!  Picking us up, dusting us off, setting us back on the journey of faith.

Thank you God for the reality of this life in Jesus Christ that reminds us daily, moment by moment, that for us who love you, who give you our lives, it is not one false move and we're out!  It's just way too much pressure!  It keeps us all stirred up inside to think that we have to be perfect. . . and we simply cannot be perfect no matter how hard we try!  Your great love for us allows us to stumble and fall,  learn and grow through our failures to the fullness of what you have called us to be- your beloved children.

I hope I will have better news for you on March 10th about how Miss Anna does in Athens.  Her goal is to make it through five rounds.  She might be out on the first round like she was in the finals in Columbus last year (begonia of all things!  She knew that one but got a bit rattled!).  But maybe I won't have any good news to share, other than the fact that Jesus will still love her no matter if she spells the words correctly or not, and so will her mama and daddy!