God Meets Us Right Where We Are

For my doctoral paper I worked with the family system of Jacob and Esau, those famous biblical twins who began their life vying for approval and superiority over one another.  In the womb Jacob wrestled with his twin, so much so that their mother feared for her life.  Just before the two meet later in life, after betrayal, lost blessings and much anger, Jacob wrestles with God at the Jabbok River. Jacob, by his very nature is a wrestler.  Some people just are. . . they like to wrangle, roll around, get twisted up and sweaty.  God took Jacob to the mat but in the end he blessed him with a new name, Israel. He met Jacob right where he was; God didn't expect Jacob to be anyone other than who he knew himself to be.  God worked with his frailties and failings and made him a great nation as was promised to his grandfather Abraham.

The Greenway Trail Along the Genesee River, New York

I have been a runner since I was a small child.  I remember racing through the neighborhood with the boys because the girls couldn't keep up with me.  In grade school it was also the boys who were my competition, and only a couple of them at that.  Running was my life from very early on.  In High School I was the one who gathered the team and and put the group through our workouts.  In college I continued to run, not just around the green rubberized oval but from all things that sought to drown me: emotions, pain, brokenness.  I was a great runner- successful on the track, successful at running away from God.  At the age of 43 I have slowed down considerably, thanks to a slowly aging body, but in my heart I am still a runner.  Sometimes I still run from God.  Sometimes I still run from my emotions.

On retreat last week I realized the connection between Jacob, the wrestler, and me, the runner.  God has consistently and faithfully met both of us right where we are.  God is quite an athlete you know!  He probably even plays soccer, basketball and field hockey!  Anyway, here is something I wrote last week that I'd like to share with you, for whatever it's worth. . .

Jacob wrestled.
In the womb,
with his twin,
life or death struggle.


God wrestled
with the wrestler,
let me go,
no- I won't!
Let me go,
not before you bless me!
Let me go,
You are Israel.


I run.
From pain, from the past
from darkness and death.
You, O God,
strap on your running shoes
life or death race
tie them tight
stretched and ready
You will not let me
outrun your love
You chase, pursue,
match strides in mercy
On your mark,
get set,
Here I am for you- ALWAYS!