A Letter to Rose: On Being a Sister

My beautiful niece, Rose, and handsome nephew, Will.

Dear Rose,

Look how fast you are growing up! You are already so smart and beautiful that I simply cannot imagine what God has in store for your life. Maybe you'll be a pharmacist like your Daddy, or a teacher like Uncle Jeff, or a Speech Pathologist like your Mama. The possibilities are only limited by your imagination and drive, and we have seen already just how persistent you can be when you want something. (That's a good thing, by the way!)

There is one thing though, sweet girl, that you will always be. Your life changed when Will was born and it took on new meaning, even if you haven't considered it that way quite yet. Forever and always you will be a "big sister." This is something new in our family. Your mom is a little sister, I am a little sister, Anna and Ashley are both little sisters. Even Grandma Little is a younger sister. But you, you're special! You, my dear, are a BIG SISTER.

So what does this mean, you might wonder? Well it means that you are a natural born leader, first of all. We've seen this already in the way you ask us to play with you and how you know your own mind, even at such a young age. More than likely you will grow up and be the one that others go to for advice, to lead, and to be in charge. But be careful, little one, there's a fine line between leadership and being bossy. Most of your friends might fuss at you if you get too bossy. Will might fuss at you if you get too bossy, but he will certainly look up to you and appreciate your presence in his life as he gets older. You will give him opportunities that you haven't even thought about, just by going first. In school the teachers will know you and they will accept him, because he's your brother. They will expect him to be just as smart and kind and wonderful as you are! In sports you will help him develop his skills just by playing with him in the backyard. He will be your first best friend! And you will be his. And for your whole lives you will trust each other to tell the truth when it needs to be told, to be each other's biggest fan, and to be there for one another whenever you are in need.

As an oldest child, dear Rose, your confidence will shine through and your intelligence will serve you well in this world. You have so much to look forward to, so take advantage of every opportunity that intrigues you. I know you will do well. And, as your godmother, it is my job to remind you to keep your eyes on Jesus. He will never leave you and when you pray to him he will answer your deepest needs.

So, you're almost two, little lady! We are all so proud of you and love you very much. Keep up the good work! Be a good sister and teach Will everything you know, okay?

Love,

Aunt Amy

Why Being A Coach Matters

Swimmer Paulina Reyes & Coach Little

If you've ever been on a sports team you know how important the coach is to the overall emotional atmosphere on the court, field, pool, course, and so on. The coach sets the tone for the game. The coach is the leader, who leads by example. He may not be able to play the game anymore, as bones do get old and muscles get tighter as we age, but the depth of knowledge stored in a coach's brain is priceless. The ability to see things in super-slow motion only comes with years of experience. The gift of relationships is even more critical to the game than the skills. I make this bold statement because the skills are developed early and honed over time, but the absence of relationships creates a barrier that prohibits the athlete from excelling to the next level. A coach who knows everything about technique but fails to relate the athlete will only see limited response from that young person. If you want an athlete to "leave it all on the court" then a deep trust has to be formed first. This takes patience and a willingness to commit to the persons involved, not just the sport. I've never met a coach who "does it for the money." We do it because we love kids and we want to be a positive influence in their lives. We want to see them improve every week. We want to see them succeed in the game of life. 

Meanwhile, they touch our hearts. They change us as people and we have a different relationship with each and every student-athlete because each of them are different people. These amazing young athletes continue to shape us as human beings as bonds are formed in practice, in competition, and for many coaches who are also first and foremost teachers, in the classroom. This coach is a pastor, so in many ways a teacher. . . just not in a schoolroom. 

Being a coach matters. It's a huge time commitment! But it is worth every minute spent with these young people who matter. They matter to their parents, their friends, but mostly they matter to God. A coach does kingdom work. Think about it. . . encouraging is a kingdom job, teaching is also a kingdom job, picking up the pieces of a bad day is holy work, walking alongside a person who is becoming more and more who God made them to be is sacred business. We can't check our faith at the door of the gym. We can't stop being who we are in Christ at the entrance to the track. We cannot deny our faith as we enter the natatorium. And we may not talk about it, but it shines through. It really does. 

I can remember the names of the kids I had on my very first track team that I coached circa 1994. There was that amazingly energetic girl named January, and that fellow who became a pastor years later named Mike. Many of the kids I've coached have graduated college and are now coaches themselves. And ones that are still in High School have hopes of being coaches when their time comes. My coach in college taught me more about life by being on that track with me than I can ever tell you. Thank you, Coach! Thanks for staying with me so many nights at the high jump when everyone else had gone. Thanks for the kick in the butt when I needed it. Thanks for the hugs and affirmation when it was necessary. Thanks for being you and being a huge part of my life. It mattered. It still matters. 

Practical Wisdom on Our Words: Proverbs 18

Proverbs 18 is our Lenten Reading today. Read here.

Words, words, words. One of my favorite movies of all time is "On Golden Pond." 

Henry Fonda plays the cantankerous dad, Norman, of his real life daughter, Jane Fonda,  who is Chelsea in the movie. They don't get along very well but perhaps that's because they are so much alike: stubborn, wounded, opinionated, looking for the other to accept them as they are. At one point Norman, who is a man of few words gets tired of all the talking and says this quote, (that apparently I am the only one in the world who thinks is funny or poignant because I couldn't find it online ANYWHERE!) "I don't know why everybody has to talk about everything all the time."

Sometimes it just seems like there is too much talking going on. It seems like everyone has something to say, and most of it could be left unsaid. Words just spoken for the sake of speaking. I yearn for quiet. Do you? I yearn for simple company in the presence of another where words do not have to be spoken. Where translations don't have to be made, "What did you mean by that?" or "Why did you say that?"  There are but a few people I know who don't say something unless it is worth being said. You can count on them to speak when they have something important to say, otherwise they just keep their mouths shut. I admire that quality so much!

"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."

Hmmm. We don't listen enough, do we?

"The words of a man's mouth are deep waters, the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook." Our words can encourage rather than tear down.

"A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating." Our words can get us into serious trouble. 

"A fool's mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul." Our words injure others and not easily forgotten. 

"The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body." Gossip and malicious talk hurt deeply.

"If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame." Again with the inability to listen carefully and attentively. We jump too quick without thinking things through. Perhaps we need a "time-out." 

"An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge." What better knowledge and wisdom is there than the fear of the Lord?

"The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him." Consider that one.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits." Our words have such power, why not use them for good rather than evil? 

Something to ponder for today. What do you think? 

Straddling the Fence

Imagine in your mind's eye a beautiful green meadow. There are farm animals wandering around: sheep, cows, the occasional horse so you hear their sounds in your highly attuned ears. Smell the grass in all of its sweetness. See that fencing over there? Walk toward it in your mind. You can see that its sturdy, even if it is a bit rustic. Not one of those perfectly formed plank fences. This one has spots that are higher near the posts and lower in the middle due to time in the sun that caused it to sag just a bit. You decided to climb over to the other side. As you raise one leg over the crosspiece you soon realize that it is higher than you thought. Now you have one leg touching the ground on the side you approached from and one on the other side, unable to make it all the way to the ground beneath. This is what they call, "straddling the fence." Part of you on one side and the rest of you on the other.

Listen to Paul's words to the church in Corinth and imagine yourself straddling that fence again (2 Corinthians 6:2-7):
See, now is the acceptable time; see, now is the day of salvation! We are putting no obstacle in anyone's way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, but as servants of God we have commended ourselves in every way: through great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, holiness of spirit, genuine love, truthful speech, and the power of God. 

Look at that list again: it's like Paul's saying, "Do you want the bad news or the good news first?" The bad news in that on one side of our faith fence the tough stuff; on the other side of that same fence are the good gifts. They go together. He goes on to make it more explicit (6:9-10). We have to manage a whole lot of fence straddling as followers of Christ:

treated as imposters              standing in the truth

unknown                                  well known by God

dying                                         fully alive in Christ

punished                                  but not killed

sorrowful                                  always rejoicing

poor                                           making many rich

having nothing                        possessing everything

This is the call to discipleship in Christ. The call to straddle the fences of this world that looks at us with dirt and ashes on our heads and mutter to themselves that we are weird, unusual, foolish even. To be an ambassador for Christ is to do our very best to live like he lived and to die to old selves so that all may know the joys of his life and love. Be not afraid, for the Lord your God is with you! On both sides of that tricky fence!

It is Good for Us to Be Here, Lord!

As a pastor I often run into folks at the grocery store, oftentimes people I haven't seen in worship for a long time. One of the first things they say to me is, "Sorry I wasn't in church, I was sick (or out of town, or whatever the case may be." This always causes me to giggle just a little bit because I am not the teacher at the front of the class calling out names to see who is in attendance and handing out demerits if they are absent (though we do miss them when they are away).
"Jones?" "HERE!"
"Madison?" "HERE!"
"Alexander?" "Alexander?"

But at the heart of their apology I believe is a deep desire to be present with the community of faith on Sundays. They miss the Christian companionship. They truly long to be with the saints to give thanks and praise to God. Something is missing and when they see my face it makes them think of their brothers and sisters in Christ. When we gather for worship in the comfort of our faith communities we feel the Spirit's presence, make a sigh of relief and prepare ourselves for honoring God. We say (at least internally if we don't speak it aloud) "It's good for us to be here."

Matthew 17 Six days later, Jesus took with him Peter and James and his brother John and led them up a high mountain, by themselves. 2 And he was transfigured before them, and his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became dazzling white. 3 Suddenly there appeared to them Moses and Elijah, talking with him. 4 Then Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good for us to be here; if you wish, I will make three dwellings here, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” 5 While he was still speaking, suddenly a bright cloud overshadowed them, and from the cloud a voice said, “This is my Son, the Beloved; with him I am well pleased; listen to him!” 6 When the disciples heard this, they fell to the ground and were overcome by fear. 7 But Jesus came and touched them, saying, “Get up and do not be afraid.” 8 And when they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus himself alone.

9 As they were coming down the mountain, Jesus ordered them, “Tell no one about the vision until after the Son of Man has been raised from the dead.” 10 And the disciples asked him, “Why, then, do the scribes say that Elijah must come first?”11 He replied, “Elijah is indeed coming and will restore all things; 12 but I tell you that Elijah has already come, and they did not recognize him, but they did to him whatever they pleased. So also the Son of Man is about to suffer at their hands.”13 Then the disciples understood that he was speaking to them about John the Baptist.

Just before this encounter on the mountaintop, Jesus has predicted his death in front of his disciples.  Peter is very unhappy about this and gets a little bossy, "God forbid it Lord! This must never happen to you." I can imagine him saying to Jesus, "Look man, this is not what I signed up for when I dropped by fishing nets by the sea and followed you. I left everything! My people, my business, my security. This is not what I bargained for! Say it isn't so!" 

How often have you felt like that in the face of struggles that arise from your faithful walking with Christ? 

But Jesus quickly gets upset with Peter; he calls him the devil! "Get behind me Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; for you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things!" In other words: You haven't a gosh-darned clue about what God is up to, Pete ole boy, so back down and keep quiet!

Isaiah tells us that God's ways are not our ways. We simply don't get it when it comes to seeing God's hand in our lives because God never does it the way we would do it. The cross of Calvary is the number one example of that fact. 

So then, Jesus invites the top three to take a trip up the mountain. Peter is thrilled with this part of the journey. He says, "Wow! What an awesome view from up here! You can see for miles and miles, Jesus! Thanks for inviting me; I am so very glad to be here." 

“Lord, it is good for us to be here."

On that mountain Peter had the privilege of seeing Jesus' face shine like the sun. He caught a glimpse of Moses and Elijah. He was so excited he wanted to stay up there forever. "Let's put up some tents Jesus and stay awhile!" But the mountaintop experiences of our lives don't last forever. Those rare and wondrous moments when it feels like God is closer to us than ever. Truth is, God is always this close, we simply don't always detect the divine presence. 

The disciples and Jesus descend the mountain. That "high" is over for now but they can hold onto it in their hearts. Ever had one of those amazing experiences where you want to bottle it up and keep it forever? Maybe on your wedding day, or when your child was born? The emotions remain a distant memory as we come down the mountain to ordinary, daily life. That's where we exist. The foot of mountain, not at the peak but at the bottom. And God meets us there too! But often it is sheer faith that carries us through our daily existence. At the base of the mountain we don't hear Peter saying, "It is good Lord for us to be here." But perhaps he should. Perhaps we should. 

We also don't hear Peter saying these words as he tries to stay awake in the Garden of Gethsemane. He utters not a word as Jesus dragged off to Pilate's court. And at the foot of the cross he is nowhere near to even try to speak. In those moments between Jesus' death and the discovery of the empty tomb, when the eleven are hiding out in fear, do we hear Pete say, "It is good for us to be here!?" 

Just silence. 

But it IS GOOD for us to be here. Wherever here happens to be, because God is fully and completely present with us in every "here" there is. At a loved one's hospital bedside, at the side of a casket during calling hours, in a difficult and tumultuous relationship, in our fears and yearnings--- and also in our joys and mountaintop moments. God never goes away. He never hides from us. He is always with us and so that means. . .

“Lord, it is good for us to be here."

Amen.